Bali – Kuta

Month/Year: Sept 2015
Flight time: From Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) to Bali = 3 hours
Exchange Rate: £1 = 20,900 Indonesian Rupiah
Full of Ozzys!


Taxis at the Airport / In General

Really easy to find. Walk out of entrance and they are there.  Our hotel was only about half hour away and cost us 120,000 Rupees (£5.74). It took us through these really dodgy looking areas. Lots of alleyways. We finally got to the main strip where our hotel was on. We didn’t really have to catch any more taxis anymore so don’t really know if they rip you off etc. The airport ones were fine and there were tuns on the main streets so you have lots to haggle with.



We chose to stay at the Love F Hotel Bali by fashion tv. When we arrived you walk through the entrance and straight away your hit by the mad decorations. Imagine catwalk / model theme. You walk in and there’s fashionable music in background, projectors showing catwalks on the walls oh and funky seats hanging from ceilings.


Straight away we were greeted by a young girl who asked us for our credit card to scan and told us our room should be ready soon. She sat us down and bought over 2 glasses of erm…lemon grass water? (whatever it was it was very sweet). We waited in reception for like half an hour before we had to chase up where Bobs card had gone and what was actually happening with the room. Bare in mind this was after 2pm so they should have had our room ready. Finally the woman came and took us to the room.

The room was very small but they said the mini bar was filled up free of charge daily…unfortunately no alcohol, just Panda Cola , energy drinks and water.

Straight away we did notice that the hotel logo was like Superman’s logo…everything from the plates to the coat hangers were in the shape of this logo

I went walking around the hotel to the top. There was a huge club (with a cat walk) and sunbed area with pool. Straight away had me top off and was on a lounger. The sun was nice n hot so it was!

The hotel is very weird but cool at the same time. You do feel like your part of a fashion show when you walk in, and at night this place illuminates like Gods kitchen or something. Quite impressive just shame the rooms are so small…oh and in the rooms you have this smokey glass panel in the bathroom that you can see from the main room so I could see Bobs silhouette scrubbing his balls etc every morning haha.



Jalan Raya Legian is the main strip. This is the street our hotel was on. There are many restaurants and bars here. To be honest this is a very busy street. You will find stalls selling all your caps / jerseys / trainers here for good prices. If you’re looking for watches I wouldn’t bother here as quality is terrible.

Sky Garden

Now I had heard about this place beforehand. This place has 8 clubs/bars in one building. It don’t look big from the outside but inside it is!

Now we were lured into this place as we were wandering around one day hungry and saw a sign saying All you eat and drink for 100,000 Indonesian Rupiah (£4.79) from 5pm-9pm.  Now we didn’t believe this enticing sign so we went in…bird on the door told us to pay and then gave us a wrist band.

You go up to the top floor and straight away can smell the food. You pick a table and  you go up and help yourself to the buffet. Now this buffet is amazing. You got your steaks, ribs, chickens, rice, spaghetti, mince meat n much more. It’s all fresh too.

We loaded up on that and then walked up to the bar to test out the “free drinks”. Now the sign did not lie, it really is free food and drink from 5 – 9pm. Were talking alcoholic drinks too! As much Vodka, Bacardi, JD, Lager you can drink!! It was amazing. You can also order 2 at a time per person! The only beer you got was San Miguel.

Now for £4.79 for 4 hours drinking and eating time is the best bargain ever!!!

We ended up staying here until the night. We met a New Zealand couple and we all stocked up our table with Vodkas and lemonades (2 at a time). They were brilliant people and really knew how to party. The DJs came on around 7pm. Now this place has 8 clubs in this building so it really is somewhere you can stay from 5pm till you stumble in at 4am!

The music varies from room to room. Your talking House, Hard House, Chill out etc. Unfortunately no trance but the main arena had some cool lazer displays to some old classics like darude (but they were remixed).

Drink prices after 9pm are resonable. They do deals so 2 x bottles for x amount etc. I would deffo come to this place again if I ever returned. Its full of Ozzys and locals which generally seem to be fun loving. Never witnessed any trouble etc.

Are The Streets Dodgy At Night?

Bali has a reputation of drug smuggling, dodgyness etc. Especially Kuta. If honest I went out on my own one night (as Bob was too knackerd) and went to Sky Garden.  I came back around 1am in the morning and walked the main street on my own. I wasnt bladderd. I did come across many of the local men just sitting on the kurbs mainly asking me if I wanted drugs or a taxi. To be honest although there are lots of them about, they tend to sit down so not really intimidating / hanging around in groups etc. If I was a lady at night I rekon it would be dodgy, or even a really pissed bloke I rekon you may get robbed – but then again that s just because there’s lots of alleyways / dodgy men lurking about so assuming.


Prices of Alcohol and Cigarettes

Ok this place does Happy hour until around 9pm where its 85,000 (£4.08) Indonesian Rupiah buy one get one free for beers which aint bad.  Its hard to say which bar to recommend as to be honest there all basically the same. As you head towards Kuta Beach there are bars down all the alleyways. Problem when we went is that I guess we were slightly out of season so each bar had around 2 people in it.

Cigarettes were cheap in all the off licenses. I saw them for around £2.00 for  a box of 20 Marlborough.


Lots of places to eat here, however McDonald’s and KFC are abit of a mission from the main strip..i.e you may have to get a taxi.. however my favourite place to eat was a place called “THE JOKER BAR AND GRILL”. This place was right opposite our hotel. I had a pulled BBQ chicken burger there with chips. It tasted amazing!! It only cost 64,000  Indonesian Rupiah (£3.12) for the full meal!! it was so good I went there twice and ate the same thing. A waiter called “KRUSTY” there was amazing. Couldnt do enough for you! Great guy!


We shopped around alot. Me and Bob work as a team when haggling and if one of dont get what we want, then the other one walks aswel.

We were in this one store where we managed to get a good bargain. I managed to buy a Chicago Bulls cap and Jersey for 150,000 (£5.75) Caps you could get for £2.50 on their own.


Things To Do


Kuta Beach

Ok so on our first day here we wandered down to Kuta Beach. It wasnt far from our hotel. Straight away we noticed the bean bags on there. This was clearly a chill out kinda place.

We walked up the beach and straight away you are called over by what I call “Mobile Bars”. Guys with ice boxes with alcohol have little sections of the beach where they supply you with a chair or beanbag and an umbrella. You can then lounge in that area on the beach whilst they give you an ice-cold beer (around £2 each). Now this is really cool idea as you get what ever spot you like (just move your chair / beanbag where ever you like on the beach really). Me N Bob had one…then we kinda liked the guy who sold us the beer so we stayed in his area with our feet up watching view onto the sea. BLISS

Numerous people will approach you to try to sell you stuff. To be honest I’ve been to places like Ibiza where I didn’t like this at all as they sell pure shit, but this place I actually didn’t mind as their goods were actually quite cool. People had statues carved out of wood in shapes of lizards, monkeys etc…they also  had a guy selling silver rings (I bought a lizard ring that wraps around your finger, a skull ring, oh and a ring that is a bottle opener hehe – £2 each).  You would also have ladies offering massages. We had a few guys selling Weapons like cross bows and dart pipes. They were trying to tell us that customs would alloy them across the border??? Trust me these things were lethal and could do damage…I would be surprised if you didnt get stopped!

This beach is very long and of course is known for its…drum roll please….. RELEASING TURTLES INTO THE SEAAAA!!!!!!!


Releasing Raphael , Donatello, Leonardo and Michelangelo Into The Ocean

So this was one of the main things I wanted to do here. Not knowing how it all worked I asked one of the local guys trying to sell us stuff. He told me there’s a turtle center further down the beach (this is by Hard Rock Cafe). We walked to the left of the beach where eventually came across the Turtle center. You know it as its got a HUGE Turtle outside!

At around 4pm each day from April until October, you will have the opportunity to release a freshly hatched turtle into the ocean. Now since it was only around 2pm, we found a mobile bar (above) just by the turtle center on the beach. You know when they are about to start as they announce it on the tannoy.

We cued up outside the Turtle center and one by one you were given a tupper wear container. You then finally get to a man with a big container with water in it and baby turtles. You hand him your Tupperware container (minus the sandwiches) and he puts a turtle inside it. To be fair the cue only took around 3 mins.

You are then told to make your way down to the sea. You saw everyone else standing side by side and then a local guy stands in front of everyone. Once everyone is there with their turtles in their containers he counts down from 3, waits for a wave to come in and then tells you to release your turtle all together.

Now naturally me and Bob had a race to see who’s Turtle got to the sea first. Mine was Raphael and Bobs was Leonardo. unfortunately for me, Raphael kept walking back to me (I think he got confused). Bobs did win..however mine had help getting to the sea as a big wave came and took him away (sigh)…and there he went. Since we were abit tipsy at this point we were hurling abuse at each other during the race, but it was a great experience. This was one of those that needs to be done as such a nice feeling that you’ve helped a turtle get its way to where it belongs, without it being eaten by a predator etc..  awww I wonder where Raphael is now? 🙂

BIG DAY OUT – Snorkelling / Turtle Island / UBUD Monkey Forest / Tegalalang Rice Fields / Kopi luwak Coffee / Batuan Temple

Price: 700k (£33.49) each for driver all day

So one on the same day as Turtle Releasing we met a guy trying to sell us tattoos. He also stated he does tours. Since it was our first day we told him what we wanted to do and he priced it all up and said I will come and collect you from the hotel in 2 days. You will give me the money at the end of the tour. It seemed like a good idea so we took him up on the offer.

2 days later he arrived at our hotel at around 7am as planned. He had a big 4 x 4 with chrome alloys waiting for us. Now when we got in this car…due to how new it looked we thought this would have amazing air con..however it was shite! We asked him to turn it up several times throughout the journey and he hadnt got a clue how to work the controls (dont think it was his car) and it was so warm. We ended up opening the windows up in the rear and that was so much better!

Our first stop was Snorkelling


Now, the reason why I wanted to do this was cuz I had images in my head of clear sea and cool fish so he took us to the beach. Straight away a woman was over to us saying it would cost 500k to go to Turtle Island and 500k to go snorkelling. Bob cant swim for shit so he opted not to do snorkelling but came on the boat anyways.

I also paid extra to have a diver with an underwater camera. Got me flippers on, divers mask and we jumped on the boat. They literally took us about 5 minutes away from the main beach to this area with boats moored up in the sea. The diver then told me to get ready. I then walked down the ladder into the sea. Now if honest, this wasnt what I had in mind as there was boats everywhere and the water wasnt erm…clear…however gave it the benefit of the doubt,. So there I was snorkelling in Bali. The diver would instruct me where to go and would be under me all the time taking videos. I was in the sea raring to go..

I got to see lots of different coloured fish…however Im not sure if it’s just me being dumb, but the snorkel didn’t really work very well. I would get a mouth full of seawater which would then cause me to have to take it off and gasp for air. I couldn’t last for more than 2 minutes before having to come back up due to this. So that was really annoying, and eventually I had to tell the diver that I wanted to get back on the boat as it hated choking / feeling sick with all the salt water id swallowed.

Also it didn’t help as the odd jet ski would come passed quite close…

Needless to say all this, he did manage to get some good shots. I did try to pose for some of them!

Once aboard the boat then took us to Turtle Island…


Now this place is a small beach. You get off walk to the entrance and they charge you like £5 each to gain entrance. You have a guide. She took us around this small animal sanctuary thing where you get to have your pic taken next to exotic animals.

We first got to have our picture next to a HUGE assed turtle. He felt all rubbery

We then went onto be able to hold medium-sized Turtles.. They kept flapping all over the place.

We then got onto the more unique kinda animals. I got to hold a snake that had his mouth tapped up (kinda makes you feel better in a way).

Then in the cage with this owl

Then a Toucan – now I have never seen a Toucan before or got to hold one so this was quite cool. Bob didn’t like it as he kept thinking it would peck him so the photos he was very hesitant hahaa

Then a bat in a cage that kept looking at me

We then settled down for a fanta. Now this was actually a cool experience to hold all these animals. You don’t get to really do stuff like that much in the UK, so this was rather unique.

We climbed onto our boat and headed back to our driver where our next stop was to see some Monkeys in a forest…

UBUD Monkey Forest

So from snorkelling we got back into the shitty air conned car and headed towards UBUD. Driving through UBUD wasnt that much different from Kuta. It was your usual alleys / shops selling carved stuff etc.

We got to Monkey forest where we paid about £1 on the door and entered the forest. There were monkeys lying around generally chilling. The forest was cool as had carvings in trees and Jungle like trees. You would walk around it seeing the different sculptures and of course Monkeys doing comical things like scratch their balls and jump on people. It was a cool experience, however you can do it like half an hour. They have monkeys in forests in the UK, so I guess this isn’t that unique.

Next stop was to view the impressive Rice fields

Tegalalang Rice Fields

Now although seeing rice fields don’t sound like the most amazing thing, these fields were actually quite unusual to look at. I’ve never saw rice fields before so this was a new one for me.

Our gangster lookalike driver parked at the side of the road and we walked up this small road. Then you look to the side and there they were. Since it was a blue sky kinda day it looked very pretty. Only way I can explain these is that they look like a MAZE on steps. Is weird. So so pretty. Our driver took a picture of me and Bob next to the rice fields and it made me laugh as Bob is proper blacked out so had to put this pic on here hahahaha.

Next stop was through the jungle and out the other end to see a volcano.

Mount Batur Volcano

So the viewing point for this place is right at the top of the hill. We had to travel through a really hot jungle (I was careful not to have the window opening too much due to insects etc). We got to the viewing point which is a restaurant. Now I needed a right shite at this point, so I kinda went to the toilet there which to be honest.. werent the best. You had to squat and I hate doing that , especially in blistering heat!! so held it in!

Anyways back to the viewing point…this point was really picturesque. It overlooked 3 mountains in the distance. Again since it was a clear sky kinda day it looked so pretty. Lots of greens . browns and blues everywhere. Now the one mountain was actually a live volcano. You could see where the lava had fallen down to when it last erupted in the year 2000. The ground was black where it had dried up. This was a really impressive view and in the restaurant you could sit outside whilst eating with this view ahead of you!

Once we had a water and attempted 2nd shite…it was now time to get back in the 4×4 drive by style mobeel to go drink some shit…literally!

Kopi luwak Coffee

So he drove us to this jungle style coffee-house. He said you must try the local coffee here as its unique. Now the driver left us at the entrance to this jungle style house. This guide then approached us and began to tell us how the coffee was made.

He pointed to these cages that had these possum looking animals in them (there actually called Asian palm civet). I couldn’t really understand what he was saying..until he then took us to inside where he mentioned the word “POO”. Basically I then understood that the possums shit was then processed, cooked into coffee beans. I couldn’t believe it but at the same time had to try this shit out (literally).

He took us to a table where you overlooked this jungle. The view was rather nice and peaceful.

We sat down and I ordered the coffee made of shite called KOPI LUWAK. Now Bob aint a coffee drinker so he had this tray of teas that they bought to him as testers. They were weird and sweet.

Now my coffee came in what could only be described as a bong! The waitress put the coffee beans in the top, lit the bottom and then it boiled and eventually filtered out into coffee, in which point she then poured this into my cup.

The coffee was actually really strong. I had to put about 10 sugars in there however I must say.. it was really nice. Who would have thought coffee made of shit would taste so good 🙂

Shit drank, it was now time to visit a temple.

Batuan Temple

So If honest, no idea what this temple was but the driver insisted we go there. We paid about £1 entrance and then we had to put skirts / robes on (free of charge). We hadn’t got a clue how to tie them but we certainly looked amazing!

Skirted up, we were off into the outside temple. There were many statues and praying parts . There was one part where you could take your clothes off and bathe in the baths there. This looked pretty cool.

We wandered around and admired the temple like buildings and then headed back.

Now we did originally tell our driver the day we booked, that we wanted to visit Tanah lot temple. He told us it has great sunset there so we need to go there then. Now we were cruising back and the sun was going down. I said to Bob, are we going to get there in time? I asked the driver and he said no no..we wont be able to go there now as it’s an hour away and wont get there in time. I did kinda argue with the guy saying we had agreed for him to take us there, however he basically tried to make out that we just didn’t have enough time (surely that should mean he reduced the cost? but no). Since we hadn’t paid him much anyways and we had actually had a good day – I decided to let it go.

We arrived back to hotel around 9pm. Exhausting day. Although it was only £34 each for driver, we still had to pay extra for snorkelling and entrance, however the man took us all around the Island practically all day so must have rinsed him on fuel So i think that was quite good.


Tips / Things to be aware of

Mosquitoes – I had bought 100% Deet stuff, however only applied it one day. I got bit like 2 times I think the entire time we were in Bali. Now normally Mozes love me and bite me all over but this place they didn’t seem to bother  so all good

Buying stuff – If you go into a shack and a guy approaches you and he hasn’t got what you’re looking for, he may try to then suggest his mate has one…and will proceed to want to take you up to his store. Now I had one guy go to 5 stores with me to try to find the cap I wanted. They clearly all help each other out, however this can also be annoying (especially if you don’t want to be Bullied into buying). This old dude actually did help me out as managed to find a cap I wanted, however once you have handed over the money to the shack owner, your little mate wants you to tip him aswel. I didn’t and obviously they aint happy for feck um..they kinda just invite themselves to help out so I don’t really tip on that basis as prefer shopping alone.


Kuta is a small beach town where basically its just shack after shack selling the same stuff. 4 Days was enough for us in Bali. I don’t really think there’s anything else Id want to do here. That day we spent doing a full day trip, was a really good idea as we got so much done in one day. I wouldn’t come back to Bali, as again think ive done what I want to do here. As I said with Malaysia I would prefer to go back to Thailand over both there and here any day!.




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