Romania – Bucharest – March 2013
Airline and cost: Whizz Air / £98 pp
Accommodation and cost: http://www.luxapartments.ro / £63 each for 3 nights
Spending money: £163 over the 3 days.
Highlight /most remember able part of the trip: Frosty getting jacked, Bicycle bar and 3 superclubs.
Day 1 – Drinking pink champagne and dodgy pimps
We turned up to Luton airport early in the morning. Frosty was running late as he was doing his hair. Lol. Bob drove us to the airport. Once there we went through lock down aka departures where it was ridiculously lock down. The guy said my see threw bag for liquids was too big?? Not really sure why that matters as surely as long as they can see the liquids that’s all that matters? Anyways we all got threw and then we headed over to duty free and purchased some Champagne / vodka / raspberry bottle for the plane. It was a cool bottle – very posh.
After a beer at the bar it was time to board. Now Wizz air are the only airline i know that have 2 x sizes for cabin luggage. One is really small rucksack size and the other one is normal cabin luggage /ryanair size where you have to pay 30 euros if it wont fit in smaller cage. It was stupid and clearly a way to make money from the airline. Now we all carried on gym bag sized hand luggage and feared we would not get them in, however luckily for us a woman was having an argument with the check in guy so that kinda distracted him from looking at our luggage. This is what the cage looked like.
It was a 3 hour journey on the plane. We ordered a sprite and 3 glasses so that we could “sneakily” pour the champagne into the glasses. Like SAS style Bob sneakily poured our pink champagne into the cups and we sessioned. We were loud as fook by the time the bottle had finished. Some Romanians in front of us thought we were funny so turned around and chatted to us.
We arrived at the airport where we were “supposed” to be greeted by our shofa from the apartment however he was not there and we had to call him. He was also supposed to hold a sign saying “BUFFALOS” but we never saw that L.The guy Razwan owned the apartments and took us to our location which was near Old town. The location was a right shit hole. We turned up and there was graffiti everywhere and our lift could only fit 3 people in and was made of wood and felt like it would break down any minute. We got to the apartment and it was actually quite nice. It had a “50” inch LCD TV and nice walls and facilities. 2 beds so naturally me and Bob shared. We were quite impressed by it. Rather nice.
So once settled we decided to go and explore a little. We went to old town which was just down the road. This was where all the bars etc were. We arrived there and ate some KFC and our first bar was underground which had pole dancing poles in there however wasn’t a strip joint. Since it was around 3pm we were the only fookers in there. We had our first beer and since it was dark in there we were getting a bit tired. We then had a drink in an irish bar which didn’t really have any atmosphere and i could tell the lads were getting tired. Frosty was mega tired so he went back to apartment and me and Bob went to Supermarket. Now by this time me n Bob were dying for a piddle.. we got to apartment and into lift, now bob was seriously needing to go as in ive never saw him need it so bad! We went up the lift and we opened the doors too soon and it got jammed. Holding onto his todger bob was stressing how much he needed to go. I quickly closed doors we went back down and then back to our floor – however it was not our floor and Bob couldn’t hold it anymore and next thing i know he was pissing up the walls in the corridor uncontrollably. We heard voices coming down the stairs, i urged him to hurry the fook up and he couldn’t stop, he was pissing everywhere in the hallway.. i couldn’t watch so turned my back. The voices got louder and Bob was still pissing. The people were now on this floor but luckily bob was next to me in time so they were none the wiser. . . i tell ya what thow that hallway stunk!!
Unfortunately Frosty was too tired and was knackered and we could not get that man up at all. So me and Bob decided to arrange to chuck water over him. This was his reaction.
Due to Frosty being too knackered me n Bob went out to explore the bars etc. We walked along the main strip where we met a 10 year old gypsey boy who we thought at first was gunna try Rob us. We soon made him our bar rep and got him to show us where to go. Bob named him Romeo done. He told us where to go etc. Bob have him 3 Lei – 50p to say thanks. We went to the likes of City bar – which was shite, Black jacks that had a cool singer in there who was really good, and this other bar which was like a small club where we nearly got up on the bar and danced – we owned that place lol.
Johnny was supposed to meet us later on but cuz he couldn’t find us he ended up in a strip joint. We went there to go get him and we saw the man with bottles of champagne around the table with this girl. He was loving the attention. He would not leave there so me and Bob decided to go and he said he would meet us later on. Later on we got a text saying he had been invited back to the strippers house so he was gunna go. He had text us the address.
Early morning came and we wondered the streets back home. Now this is when Bucharest gets dodgy. Theres a pimp on every corner. One of them came up to us and hassled us for ages asking us if we wanted women. We then tried to get away from the man and then suddenly his mate turned up (who Bob named Darkboy) and was trying to convince us where to go for women etc. These darkboys you can see a mile off as each corner has them. They have hoodies and look like dodgy fookers – it really is that simple. The first pimp ran up to us and said what kinda girls you want i get them, again we didn’t answer and walked away.. next minute he was on phone then suddenly a car turned up and 2 girls got out. Bob again kicked off and the girls went back into the car. Thepimp again proceeded to follow us all the way. We finally got rid of him saying we would call him tomorrow – obviously he never got that call.
Day 2 – Breaking Jonny free from jail
Me and Bob woke up to find no Jonny in his bed. It was 12:00. The man must have still been at strippers apartment. Tried to text and ring him and no answer. So i said to Bob lets not worry yet, maybe his still asleep as had a late one. Me and Bob headed out to do some exploring. We got something to eat and suddenly i got a text off Jonnies bro in England saying he was in a police station as had his phone jacked last night. He gave us the number of the stripper to call. We called him and he basically told us how he went back to strippers apartment and he was texting us, then she gave him some whiskey and then he had placed his phone on the bedside table and fell asleep – now this alone is not like Johnny to not want sex with the girl so we reckon she spiked his drink. He woke up to find his phone gone. Naturally she played dumb not knowing where it was blah blah, he then proceeded to take her purse and phone and tell her that he will keep them until his phones back. He went outside she called him saying she knew where the phone was and he must come back up to get it.. he was worried thinking she may get heavies around so gave purse back n then went to police station where they raided her flat for the phone.
Me and Bob spent hours trying to find the location of the police station as they did not speak good English there. We finally got a taxi there. It was a right shit hole. Wild dogs the works. They allowed me to go upstairs to where Johnny was being questioned and held. They were trying to put prostitution on Johnny hence why they kept him as this girl was known. Anyways we did a report and they said they would contact us if they had the phone.
We headed back and then headed out to the town. Johnny was lost without his phone. We went to a club named BOA thats featured below in the “CLUBS section”. On way back from Boa we went into a taxi where he tried to take us to lots of Brothels. Frosty got that pissed off he was opening the door trying to get out whilst the man was driving, then threatening to kick shit out of driver haha. We made it back in one piece.
Day 3 – Meeting the theif and witnessing 2 amazing clubs
We got up and originally we were gunna go to Transylvania but needed ot be up for 9am which we weren’t so we couldn’t go. I woke up to find a chair against the door – them 2 were so paranoid that we would have heavies breaking in lol. We all got up and made scramble eggs n beans – rarse!! As we were about to go out we received a text off the stripper woman on my phone saying she had jonnies phone and that we were to meet her at the police station to hand it over. We went to police station and there she was outside with his phone and said the police had beat her up and forced her to get it. She stated that she found it under the pillow case – which was bullshit but we went along with it anyways. They had to do a new statement and declaration and half hour later we went back. We then had buffalo t shirt pics with wigs that Bob had bought us forcing us to wear. We looked like 80s rock stars and got a few laughs from people. We then decided to go to Golf Plant (below). We then headed back and went out on the night where we went to bicicleta a bicycle bar (below) and then onto Bamboo and Chaboo (below).
Clubs n bars
Friday night We went to a club in the middle of nowhere called BOA. It looked amazing. It kinda looked like the Pantheon building in Rome. We got in and there was a fashion show on. The lazer shows were amazing. Frosty got a pic of some of the dancers too. We taught Johnny our dance moves. The women in here were fit but nothing compared to what we experienced in the other clubs. There were private booths here but not as much as the other 2 clubs.
We went here on the Saturday night. It was where all the rich people come to. We got in no problems. Everyone in there was suited n booted and you immediately saw all the private tables etc with rich old men in there. It cost us around 45 Lei for 3 bottles of beer which is about £10 – that was most expensive round. Looking around i noticed that there was no much emotion shown between the male n females although they were drinking together.. i can only assume that the women here are escorts of some description as you would see gorgeous women sitting down on their own and only spoke when spoken too. Now this place was huge. Champagne everywhere. At one point the entire clubs lights went out and happy birthday came on with the staff with bottles of champagne walking towards the table. Now for this to happen must have cost a fortune!
This place had a swimming pool in front of the building that looked so big it looked like a shopping mall. You go inside and the cloak room is free. You are greeted by white leather sofas where you can do shisha, and then it goes into the bar / dance area. We witnessed a midget dancing here. Yet another HUGE club. Prices not as bad as Bamboo.
This is a cool bar made out of bicycle parts. Its not an obvious bar as its on the corner. You walk up 4 flights of stairs and the bars at the top. The seats are like bike handles, the lights are bike handles, the tables are made out of bike parts and even the pole at the bar where you rest your feet on are bike pedals. This is a cool bar, playing chillout music. Not a place you could stay in all night as quite small but worth the look for something different.
This place is ontop of a 5 story building – not really a “skybar” in my opinion as i would have thought it would have over looked the city. The one we went to in Riga was a proper skybar as it overlooked everywhere. Saying that this place was nice inside. It was white, had waterfalls and a good crowd. This was more of a chillout area. You could see that the roof would open on a summers day and i guess in the day it would look cool too – just wished it was higher.
This place is quite cool . It is basically crazy golf in the dark with fluorescent golf course. You pay 25 Lei in which is about £8. 18 hole course. It was cool and frosty came first, followed by me then Bob last – haha. There is also a bar in there which is cheap booze, however i swear they crank the heaters up full blast as its hot as hell in there and we only had our t shirts on.
Taxis in Bucharest
People warn you about them. To be honest they are cheap. I mean a 1 hour return journey somewhere would cost about £8 at the most – however we now no why they were described as “dodgy”. For one they don’t wear seatbelts and most of them have the seatbelts in the back hidden so you cant wear one. They have lots of bumps and in one he had a smashed front window on the drivers side yet still drove in the car. They drive fast and don’t seem to follow the lines on the road. A 3 lane road easily becomes a 5 lane kinda thing. Anything goes on these roads. They use phrases like “you pay me what you want” at the start and when it comes to pay you say an amount and they don’t accept it so in fact you CANT pay them what you want lol. They are very much “don’t worry about the fare” at the start and many of them aint got a clue where ANYTHING IS! The amount of times we asked where Golf planet, a bar, a street was they hadn’t got a clue and we talking practically everyone of them. We literally had to show them a map.
Bucharest is an okish place to go however i don’t feel there is alot to see here for me anyways. I know we could have gone to Transylvania etc but im not that bothered that i missed it as heard that has mixed reviews too. It is cheap for food and beer averaging around £1.50 a pint and the nightlife is quite entertaining. I found that we struggled for things to do here in the day as there aren’t any tour buses, or touristy places really that would be of any interest to me. I enjoyed the trip with the boys as we always make it our own, however not so sure i would come back here again.